The most challenging time in my life was during secondary school. Primary school felt so innocent in comparison, having no cares in the world, you just looked forward to going to school and playing with your friends. Having said that, I had amazing friends throughout my time in secondary school, but unfortunately, I was set in a much lower class regarding my learning. I was faced with peers who did not want to be in school and they were who made my time unbearable. I was devastated that I couldn’t be in the same class as my friends to have that confidence like I did in primary school. I felt scared to what each day would bring and I literally had to drag myself out of bed each morning to attend. Looking back, I don’t know how I managed to do that after what I went through.
I was so scared to speak up, which made me an easy target and knocked my confidence massively. No matter what I tried to do to make my time easier, I found myself getting nowhere and the bullying had a huge impact on my grades. I tried to speak to a couple of teachers, but it still felt as though this didn’t change the matter. Although looking back, I feel I didn’t say enough as my confidence was completely shattered from being bullied, I didn’t want it to get any worse than it already was. My friends outside of lesson were who kept me going.
Fifteen years on, I feel I still have confidence issues that have stemmed from my school years. A couple years ago, I decided to apply for Counselling Studies in my local college which I went on to completing levels 1, 2 & 3. Having the skills and experience from the courses, I wanted to be able to help make a difference for others that may have experienced similar challenges as me. During the course, we covered a lot of about self-awareness so it can help gain empathy to listen to another. I was learning more about myself and who I am today.
I was able to speak out and talk openly about the traumatic time I faced and I felt so much better to say what had been bottled up for many years.
I was too embarrassed to talk about my issues when I was younger but looking back I have learned that it is so important to talk. It doesn’t matter who it is, just find someone you feel the most comfortable to talk to. I will admit this was hard for me to adapt to, however I grew in confidence overtime and I was amazed by what a difference it can make.
I now know that I have a voice and suffering in silence is not healthy.
I may still have slight confidence issues but I am happier and more content in where I am now than I ever was. And with that, I want to continue to encourage this as much as I can for others and make an impact in at least one person’s life.
There was a very special quote that stood out for me from Heads Together – ‘Mental health matters to each and every one of us.’ This is so true. Remember you are not alone and that YOU matter, just as much as anyone else.