It’s so quiet around me
Yet so loud inside
Thought going out would help
But just walked and cried.
Trying to avoid people
As I don’t want to converse,
Cos some things they say
Just make it worse.
Like “look what you’ve got
How can you be depressed?”
Or “there are people a lot worse
You should feel blessed”
But you dont know
What it’s like in my mind
When negative thoughts
Are all I can find
I’m surrounded by people
Who love me and care
And they tell me to know
That they’ll always be there
Yet with this horrible illness
I still feel alone
And that I’m fighting a battle
All on my own
I’m tired, I’m anxious
I’m sad and I’m weak
I’m sick, I’m sore
And I shake when I speak
I can’t sleep at night
Have little energy in the day
I am always asking God
Why don’t you just take it away?
Being two different people
Is a hard thing to do
Pretending you’re happy
When you’re broken and blue
But I tell it how it is now
When people ask
I’m ill with depression
And I’ve binned my mask
Its time to talk about this illness
And how deadly it can be
Hopefully helping others speak out
As well as helping me
And break the stigma
That still surrounds it today
That it is an illness
And it just doesn’t go away
Right now I’m struggling
Its the hardest it’s been
Its dark, it’s scary
There’s no light to be seen
Its a hard place to be
When you just break down and cry
Where you don’t want to live
And you don’t want to die.
